


Should've Brought a Grappling Hook

by Anonymous



Series: fem!Bruce Wayne 'verse [1]
Category: DCU
Genre: F/M, Humor, Superman saves the day, female!bruce wayne - Freeform, hopefully, this came to me out of the blue and I needed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6474649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They arrive near the edge of the roof, and Alfred’s words from earlier echo in her mind. “Shall I pack your grappling hook for your rooftop endeavors, Mistress Ruby?”</p><p>Or: Ruby Wayne really, really regrets going to that rooftop party Lex Luthor threw</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should've Brought a Grappling Hook

**Author's Note:**

> Bruce is a girl for plot reasons. Also Ruby dresses like a man as Batman

Ruby Wayne arrives at the party half an hour after it started. She comes up onto the roof and immediately all eyes are on her. She isn’t sure why Lex Luthor is throwing a rooftop party, but she has to be there. It’s the event of the year, pretty much. Or at least it will be until Ruby’s Christmas party. She plans to go all out. But she’s at Lex’s party now, and she commemorates the event by wearing a stunning gown in the latest style, hence the “all eyes on her” thing. Almost as soon as everyone is done getting a look at her, a drink is shoved in her hand and Ruby puts on her best “vapid playgirl” expression and proceeds to flirt with the reporters who ask about what dress she’s wearing. 

She almost succeeds in getting Lois Lane to blush from her innuendos before she feels an arm snake around her waist and someone with a slightly alcoholic breath breathe in her ear. 

“Ruby Wayne!” Lex Luthor says, waving his drink around. “Just the woman I wanted to see.” 

“If it’s for business, Lexie, ask Mr. Fox, not me.” Lex starts walking, taking her with him. She’s suspicious. “I’m no good at stuff that requires thinking.”

“No, no business. I was hoping you could help with a friend of mine, though.” Ruby giggles.

“That sounds like business, Lex. Unless the ‘help’ is a threesome, in which case: what does this friend look like?” Lex’s grip tightens around her and she knows she has annoyed him. 

“No, not that,” he says, sounding like he’s forcing the smile on his face. “No, it’s something else.” They arrive near the edge of the roof, and Alfred’s words from earlier echo in her mind. “Shall I pack your grappling hook for your rooftop endeavors, Mistress Ruby?” She had rolled her eyes and said no, but she can hear his words as she looks down. 

“We’re awfully high up, aren’t we?” Ruby asks, lacing her words with giggles. Ruby Wayne giggles a lot.

“Yes, I suppose we are,” Lex says.

“Now,” Ruby says. “Where’s your friend?”

“Oh, he’ll come,” Lex says. Then he pushes her off the roof. Ruby screams as she falls, because that seems in character, and she wonders if she should’ve taken up Alfred on his offer of the grappling hook. The image of Ruby Wayne, well known flirt and airhead, pulling out a grappling hook and swinging around to land safely on the roof without even mussing her hair almost makes her laugh. Except she’s falling, and screaming, and she wonders briefly who the friend was, but then she is in strong arms and being swept up into the clouds and she looks over at her savior. 

“Gotcha,” Superman says, smiling crookedly at her. He’s holding her in the classic way, one hand under her knees and the other by her waist. Without thinking her arms go around his neck.

“I swear, Kent, you mention this ever….” Ruby growls. 

“Noted,” he says with an easy grin. “And you’re welcome.”

“Now you are going to put me down, and I’m going to put on a show because I’m Ruby Wayne, and we’re both gonna hope Lois hasn’t got her camera out,” Ruby informs him. 

“What about Lex?”

“Did anyone see him push me?”

“No, he did it quickly and he immediately started freaking out as soon as you fell.”

“Does he have any Kryptonite?”

“No,” Clark frowns. “My theory is that he was seeing if I would rescue you.”

“Of course you would, you’re goddamned Superman,” Ruby says. “You’d rescue anybody. I’m not necessarily a weakness of yours.” Clark gives her a look that very clearly says: But you are a weakness of mine. She suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. “We’ll discuss it later. For now, land. We’ve been talking too long.” He nods, then drifts downward dramatically. People on the roof below part for him, and he lands, gently depositing Ruby to the floor. 

“Oh, Superman,” she says. “You saved my life!”

“It was nothing,” he says, blushing a little. She wonders if he knows what she plans to do. 

“It wasn’t nothing,” she insists. “So…” She leans on her tiptoes and kisses him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She can tell he isn’t sure how to respond. After a minute he kisses back politely. She heard cameras flash and brakes away. Clark looks breathless. 

“Miss Wayne,” he says, his voice slightly strangled.

“Wanna take me home?” she asks coyly, batting her eyelashes. Suddenly he looks extremely flustered.

“That won’t be necessary,” he says. “You’re safe now. Just...don’t fall off any more buildings, okay?”

“If you keep saving me, I might not be able to help myself,” she says.

“Um, yeah….” He says. “Try to avoid that.”

“If you insist.” she sighs, overly dramatic. He gives her a slight bow and flies away. As soon as he’s gone, people surround her and someone handed her a drink and there are reporters in her face, so all is normal. All except Lex Luthor, standing a little ways away with a pondering look on his face.

\---------

“GOTHAM’S PRINCESS SAVED BY MAN OF STEEL,” Dick reads off the newspaper as soon as Ruby comes downstairs the next morning. He grins when she snatches the newspaper from his hands. It’s a copy of The Daily Planet, and the article is by Lois. The accompanying picture is of Superman descending from the heavens with Ruby clinging to him and looking at him adoringly. She scans the article before throwing paper on the table. 

“Don’t people have anything better to report on?” She mutters, sitting down. Alfred puts a mug of coffee in front of her and Dick says, “There is literally nothing better than Batman being the damsel in distress to Superman. Literally. This is pure gold.” Ruby glares at him. 

“It is quite amusing,” Alfred adds from the stove where he is making pancakes, by the smell of it. Ruby shoots an annoyed look his way. Alfred merely smiles and gets something from the counter. He puts it on the table. It’s the Gotham Gazette, and the front page has a picture of Superman and Ruby midway through the kiss plastered on it. Dick’s eyes light up mischievously and Ruby groans, burying her head in her hands.


End file.
